Day 30 in Singapore.
The environment is no longer scares me nor strange me out. Waking up at 5 o'clock in the morning where the sun hasn't rise. Seeing the dim dawn where people start to stand by the bus station and waiting for a ride to work. This routine repeated for 30 days. The only difference is the time that I woke up which gets latter and latter.
On the very first day that I am here, everyone is like a monster to me. Everything is strange despite the culture is almost the same as in Malaysia. As long as there is a person starring at you, you will started to feel the fear, "Why is him looking at me?", "Am I doing anything wrong?", "Did I forget something?" These questions always bother me throughout the first month when I am here. It sounds funny for a 23 years old lady to think in this way. Yea, I know I am old enough to take this up but it might be hard if your loved one never give you enough courage and support.
It's okay. I am fine with it as time goes by. I get to know more friends during my attachment in Jurong Shipyard. Feels good to have such friends around me who are full of joy. At least it can take away the griefs that I feel every night after that one hour conversation with him.
Agony don't come in singular form.
I have been feeling upset in my relationship, worrying the financial issue, hiding the truth from my mum etc.
The relationship doesn't make me nourished.
The financial issue can only solved if I skip my meals and with the extreme living style.
I would never let my mum know that I am living in poorness.
Walking around in Singapore can temporary leave those constraints away.
Listening to the acoustic music,
walking in the crowd of people,
seeing the people who is walking solely as I do,
then I realized I am not the only one who undergoing these toughness.
If other can do it, why not me?
